"But is it good?" The Only Worthwhile Debate In Modern Pro-Wrestling

Watch pro-wrestling long enough, and you begin to recognize the patterns of wrestling matches and the tropes of the medium: the heel cheats, the babyface "comes back", groups and teams inevitably betray each other, veterans "pass the torch", and on and on it goes in an endless merry-go-round of (hopefully) joy and wonder.

Eventually, you may even want to see some of these patterns and tropes at work because they provide a sense of comfort, a return to your once simplistic, romanticized view of right & wrong.

The Art of Wrestling Is In The Details

The pro-wrestling community does a lot of debating about "no-selling", "dick flips", and "beach balls" these days.

But what about the roll-up?

What about how a wrestler uses their eyes during a pin?

What about the little, fundamental details of professional wrestling that get buried under high spots, hand-gestures, headbutts, entrances, memes, and chants from self-obsessed audiences? I'm certainly guilty of falling prey to the analysis of these popular topics (see my article from two weeks ago).

Stop Lying To Me, Babyfaces: Or Why WWE Heels Always Win

Whether it's Triple H pontificating about the value of hard work or The Miz describing, in minute detail, how meaningless the Intercontinental Championship was on Dean Ambrose's shoulder, heels consistently make accurate and even inspired observations about life and their opponents. Heels tend to speak with confidence and certainty, and, more often than not, they're proven right. They say they're going to win and they win. They lose, and they talk their way out of it through snarky humor or they immediately retaliate (demonstrating cunning, resiliency, and decisiveness). Or they vanish off television for months after their loss, and so their loss is forgotten.

Roman Reigns And The Dangers Of Deserve

Almost every day I see comments from frustrated professional wrestling fans claiming that Roman Reigns "doesn't deserve" all of the opportunities WWE has given him. This comment is incredibly reliable regardless of how Roman Reigns evolves and regardless of how his booking changes.

At this point, if a pro-wrestling fan is reciting the same laundry list of criticisms that have been leveled at Leati Joseph Anoaʻi over the past two years, I tend to question their true intentions as it relates to their love of professional wrestling.

THE RAW REVIEW

Imagine we’re by a campfire; you, me, and a few other campers. We’ve been hiking all day, and now we’re sitting down together to eat and drink and talk. The moonlight splinters against the forest canopy, falling to the dirt like strands of silk. Twigs and leaves snap and rustle in the dark beyond our campsite, reminding us that we’re not really alone. The campfire-light holds us in a warm, orange bubble, as we pull apart bits of jerky and laugh as gram crackers and marshmallows and chocolate dissolve in our mouths. A bottle of Jack passes from mouth to mouth, and that’s when the stories start.

THE RAW REVIEW

Pro-wrestling is storytelling.

Everything that goes on in a pro-wrestling show is symbolic, a literal representation of something figurative (like theater, film, television etc). The simulated combat of a pro-wrestling match, while resulting in very literal pain, is a metaphor for a real-world sport, a personal conflict, a war, a familial struggle, an identity crisis, or (often in WWE’s case) corporate negotiations. Because pro-wrestling is storytelling, the medium’s symbolism and iconography can be incredibly powerful. Over time, audiences are conditioned to associate maneuvers, phrases, gestures, expressions, and even objects with particular performers or scenarios. The best professional wrestlers tend to be those who use their symbolic power to their advantage, manipulating the audience to incredibly intense Moments of Pop.

THE RAW REVIEW

To tell a good story, it helps to have a basic respect for human beings.

It also helps if the storyteller appeals to the most intelligent members of their audience rather than assuming everyone is a wide-eyed, open-mouthed, passive buffoon who wants to see anything happen.

When human beings are told, convincingly, that “B comes after A” they settle into a place of comfort. They start to like the idea that B comes after A. They start to rely on the idea that B comes after A. Not before long, the idea that B comes after A transforms into an irrefutable fact in their minds.

THE RAW REVIEW

We’ve been here before…

A WWE pay-per-view that is met with resounding disdain is immediately followed by an episode of Monday Night Raw that elicits unanimous praise. As genuinely disheartened as I was by the Fastlane pay-per-view, as soon as I heard “Here comes the monaaaaaaaay!” and saw Shane O’Mac hit the RAW stage with his reliably fancy footwork, all wasn’t forgiven, but all was certainly forgotten.

THE RAW REVIEW

This week’s episode of Monday Night Raw perfectly demonstrates why a three-hour running time is (to put it lightly) too long a running time for Monday Night Raw. No matter how good an episode might be, by the end of the second hour, RAW has used up its energy and most of its goodwill, and the audience becomes noticeably exhausted and increasingly disinterested. It is an impossible length of time to contend with, especially for the “average viewer” the WWE relentlessly pursues. Around 10:00 pm, I felt my attention and my emotional investment wane. I was full, but the WWE insisted on serving me another entree, cramming four or five matches into a forty-minute span, building toward a main event that today’s WWE-viewer simply doesn’t want to watch. And that is a shame, because had the show been two hours it would have certainly been the best episode in months.

THE RAW REVIEW

Last week I found an enjoyable solution to the problem of writing about RAW; ignore everything that was terrible about the episode and focus entirely on the excellence (Bexcellence) of Becky Lynch.

I could employ the same tactic this week. Charlotte & Becky were certainly the best part of the show, and not just because the rest of the episode was so grating. Even on a great episode, Charlotte & Becky’s exchange would have stood out. Becky’s promo was biting & sincere. It’s not easy to throw insults at Ric Flair (even a blatantly heel Ric Flair) and not have the crowd turn on you. Becky managed to walk that tightrope with poise and conviction, continuing to flesh out her character as a fearless competitor quick to speak the truth.

THE RAW REVIEW

Following the 2014 Hell in a Cell pay-per-view where a “Ghost” interfered in the main event (bringing Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose’s career-defining feud to an unceremonious close) the WWE’s flagship series gradually devolved into a predictable variety show that served rote promos, frayed story-lines, a disjointed tone, incoherent “comedic” segments, unimportant matches, and inconsistent characterization. These issues led to increased viewer-discontent, the stunted growth of a variety of talents, and stalled Superstar-ascents that were, during the Spring & Summer of 2014, nothing short of meteoric.

These issues persisted all the way through to the final episode of 2015.

THE RAW REVIEW

It is very hard to watch a television show that mocks itself. It’s even harder to watch a television show that mocks the viewer for watching it. This week (and for far too many weeks in 2015) the WWE committed both of those sins at the same time. While I doubt Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn sit in an underground lair twiddling mustaches and ominously petting white cats while thinking, “How can we insult everyone watching our show” it’s very difficult to not feel that way for many WWE viewers. It’s far likelier the reason a great episode of RAW (like last week’s) is consistently followed by an abysmal episode of RAW (like this week’s) is due to a self-fulfilling prophecy many storytellers & television producers fall prey to; we can’t top that, so let’s try something different, or just accept this won’t be as good.

The Writings